he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
