I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
