If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
