I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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