just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
