His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
