I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
