she smelled like a LAN party
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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