It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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