Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
