We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize