But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
