I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
