Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
