He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
