We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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