OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
