"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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