somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She said her name was "party"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
