when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
