Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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