Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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