she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
