Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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