I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize