haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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