Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
