No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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