Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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