and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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