So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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