he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
