i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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