Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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