Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
