I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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