do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
