Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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