every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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