How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am never drinking with the goths again.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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