What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
