How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
