the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
