farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
