Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
