Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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