I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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