I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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