so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
