I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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