You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
