Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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