Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is the high leading the old right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
