I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
