Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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