In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
