fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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