I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
FUCK WHALES
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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