I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
