Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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