How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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