They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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