I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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