K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize