I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
